Cynthia M.

Like a deep-sea fisherman, sometimes you have a good catch in a few days and you come back to shore early, and sometimes you may be out there a LONG time. That’s the life of living with a family member with autism. When my son Frankie was born, I noticed he didn’t cry when he was hungry; he only grunted. As most newlyweds we wanted a boy first, then a girl. What a boy! The path envisioned was changed early when I realized my son was not talking as other toddlers were. He preferred to be left alone, pointed at things he wanted and made strange noises. I went to several doctors for tests, questions and speech therapy. It was not until he was four that we got a final diagnosis: autism. People suggested diet change, to pray the demons out, brushing him down, blasting his ears, rolling him in blankets and medication changes. We tried them all, and some worked for a while. Others suggested we send him away to a home. With autism we celebrate every normal activity or thing he does, and weep or shake our heads in embarrassment at the strange things. After a few public encounters with Frankie, I’ve learned to keep a straight face or smile when people are staring at us. I learned to trust totally in God, otherwise I would have lost my mind or picked up a bad habit to survive. One time in church, without warning, he jumped up hollering and punching me in the face. The old ladies said, “That boy needs a good butt spanking.” But they did not know we had tried spanking. Frankie very seldom cries, and spanking had no effect. It has continued for 21 years with my husband, his sister and other brother, and I have almost given up on him so many times. Our lives were put on a different path and we have done the best we can. God chose us to raise a unique person through which I have been able to advocate for the rights of people with disabilities, work with support groups and contact legislators and parents dealing with disabled family members. It is through prayer and God’s Grace that I will never give up on my son and others with disabilities. In May 2005, Frankie walked across the stage with his diploma wearing that continuous smile and still lives with us. He goes to JOB WORKS three days a week. It’s a dayhab program and preparatory routine job training. Each day continues to bring challenges as he still likes to make strange noises, sing commercials at the top of his lungs, laugh uncontrollably when nothing is funny, overeat the things he likes, make funny faces or he may just walk up to you and give you a hug. So like the deep-sea fisherman, I want to stay on land, or peaceful living, but I am comforted in knowing while I am out in the rough seas, GOD has been, and will always be, with me.